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Have you given much thought to the effect that the Law of Attraction has on the state of politics? The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like”. Applied in our lives, this is how it translates:
- What we think about we get more of. (What we think about a lot becomes our beliefs, and this becomes our reality.)
- Our beliefs (which are simply the thoughts we’ve allowed to rumble around in our heads a lot) cause manifestations to occur all around us that are in alignment with what we believe can and will occur. (Or what we fear can and will occur, if we’re allowing our thoughts to focus on what we don’t want, or what we fear will occur.)
Yes, our thoughts and beliefs create our reality. We all get more of what we put our thought attention to.
How many politicians (percentage-wise) do you think are honest people with great integrity? What is the total percentage of US politicians that vote only for the greater good of the country and all it’s people? (Please feel free to comment at the bottom of this blog… post what you think the percentage of honest US politicians is… politicians that always vote only their conscience, for the greater good of all the country and all it’s people.)
Now think of the world. (Remember, we are all a part of the collective consciousness.) What is the percentage of all US politicians that the collective subconscious (or collective unconscious) thinks are honest people with great integrity? Let me word this a different way: if you asked every person on the planet what percentage of US politicians were honest and acting with great integrity, and averaged it, what would that percentage be?
If you did that, if you asked everyone on the planet what their belief systems hold, this would be the EXACT percentage of US politicians that actually do vote only for the greater good of the country and all it’s people.
The answer would be very, very low I’ll bet! We can’t blame others for this, we have all participated in manifesting the sorry state of our politicians, and I’m sorry, but no amount of screaming NO! at what you don’t want is gonna change it. In fact, it will increase it in your reality. Dems, when you blame or complain at those on the right, you’re just furthering their cause. And all you on the right, when you rail against liberal political views, you’re focusing your attention on what you do not want. When you do it with passionate anger, y’all are just creating a lot more of what you don’t want.
Right now what do you think about politicians? This is what I think the majority of folks in the US hold in their belief systems about their politicians’ and their supporters:
- Politicians take a lot of money from large corporations to get elected. Once elected, they only vote for the best interest of the large corporations.
- Politicians are ridiculously out of touch with reality, focused on current political polls instead of what’s important.
- Politicians are “fat cat” lawyers.
- (Democrats’ belief systems are that…) Republican politicians don’t care at all about serving the greater good or helping others; they only care about themselves, their own greed, and their friends, cronies’ and donor’s greed.
- (Republicans’ belief systems are that…) Democrats want to take everyone’s hard-earned money and give it to those that are lazy.
- (Democrats’ belief systems are that…) those working class people that support the Republicans are undereducated, maybe even downright stupid for not realizing that the Republicans’ political positions benefit the mega-rich at the expense of the working class people supporting them.
- (Republicans’ belief systems are that…) those working class people that support the Democrats are stupid for not realizing that the Democrats’ political positions benefit the lazy, those not willing to try to help themselves, at the expense of the hard-working people supporting them.
- (Democrats’ belief systems are that…) the Republicans are filled with fear of communism! …and fear of gays! …and fear of non-whites!
- (Republicans’ belief systems are that…) the Democrats have no sense of personal responsibility! …no sense of morality!
- (Democrats’ belief systems are that…) the Republicans are all about limiting others’ rights!! They even try to force religion in politics!
- (Republicans’ belief systems are that…) the Democrats are all about limiting others’ rights!! They try to take away my guns, they even try to tell me what my kid can and can’t eat!
This last one is a good example. What’s the focus on? Limited rights. And who is focusing on it? Both sides. So who is it happening to? Both sides.
Want a different experience with your politicians? Start thinking passionately about what you do want. Stop calling those in the other political party names. Start fantasizing that love and integrity is in the heart of those making political decisions. Believe that balanced politics is not only possible, it’s our reality.
Suggestion: start practicing thoughts (that will eventually turn into beliefs) that those in government make all their decisions coming from a place of integrity, honesty, and protecting everyone’s freedoms and rights.
Why? Because it doesn’t matter how distasteful another’s preferences are to you (ie gay marriage, or a black, possibly non-Christian president for those very far to the right; gun control and government vouchers for private, religious schools for the left), if you work to limit another’s rights or freedoms, by definition, karma and dharma will insure that your own rights and freedoms will be limited. It may not happen right away, you may not make the connection when it occurs, but it will occur. Like it or not, while you’re alive on this planet the Law of Attraction controls your experience.
Click here if you’d like some help making the Law of Attraction work for you. Please also feel free to write me at the links on this page if you’d like to join other folks working together to use the Law of Attraction to bring about some new “politics dignity”. I believe that real political and social change is possible. And hey, if that doesn’t work we can always turn our attention away from it…
What if our Souls don’t have the regrets that us humans perceive?
What if our Souls accept, appreciate, and even choose much or all that we experience here, including those parts of our lives that we consider to be unwanted, or even horrific?
What if understanding and accepting this is a part of love of self?
My Dad was a WWII veteran. The war must have had a pretty profound effect on him, as he talked about it, thought about it, watched TV shows and movies about it, lost a couple fingers during it, and attempted to write a book about it. Shortly after the war he had a near-fatal motorcycle accident. Still in his early twenties, he was hit head-on by a fire truck, on a mountain road. The story I heard throughout the years was that the firemen were drinking, were not on their way to a fire, and were on the wrong side of the road. Whether accurate or not I don’t know, the accident occurred in the early-mid 40s, and I didn’t come along until the late 50s, and the stories were retold to me during that late 60s and early 70s. What I do know was that the accident left him with pins and scars throughout his body, and an alcohol addiction that caused him to lose everything by the age of 50, including his self-esteem, the wife he loved, his children, his business, and his life.
As the story goes, he had been on morphine for over a year after the accident, and the kindly family doctor in the small town we’re from encouraged him to drink whiskey to get off the morphine. I know this because he told this story frequently throughout his life, in lieu of an apology, whenever his alcoholism caused harm to others.
What if those were originally HIS choices? I know we all have free will once we get here. I have evidence of that because right now I can choose to continue writing this, or I can choose to stop. I can choose to delete the file from my computer, or I can choose to complete it and share it on my blog. But what about before we arrive?
What if before his Soul dropped into his body, what if he actually chose many or most of those early experiences because there was something within those experiences that he wanted for his Soul’s growth? I realize this is difficult for many to grasp, just as it would have been impossible for him to grasp when he was alive. He absolutely believed he was a victim; a victim to the war, a victim to the accident and the firemen, a victim of the alcohol, a victim of his family when each of us, one by one made the decision we couldn’t watch him kill himself any longer, or take a chance on him killing one of us.
If my sense of this is correct, and my Dad’s Soul chose some of those early experiences for the challenge (and hopefully the subsequent growth) of overcoming them, what about those challenges that he was not successful at resolving while here? What if my Dad’s Soul was perfectly ok, maybe even pleased with the experience that he had here? I believe that his Soul probably had high hopes that he would rise above it all, and accomplish wonderful things.
By the way, if you’re hung up on the idea of reincarnation, stay tuned to this blog. I’ll write on this topic soon…
It is my belief that we have all been here many, many times. For some fascinating reading on the subject consider Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls or Destiny of Souls. Very interesting information. But I digress, please, read on…
I was born in 1957. By then, my Dad’s experience, such as it was, was well underway. He had a ton of victim energies, an alcohol addiction, and a shit-pile of internal turbulence and rage. He was pretty narcissistic, and struggled to support his family. From my non-physical perspective, meaning from my Soul’s perspective before I dropped into Scott’s body, I had to have had a pretty good idea what MY experience as his son would be like. I have to believe that when we Souls are with God, we see things down here a lot more clearly than those of us here see them. I’m pretty sure I had a pretty good idea what my childhood would be like. I chose to come into the family when his alcoholism was beginning to rage out of control, his demons were becoming more difficult to keep hidden, and I chose to enter his life at that time as a gay son. Let me put this in perspective. My Dad was the president of the Rod & Gun Club. Owned the local Sporting Goods store and killed birds, deer and fish for sport. I played music and danced, and preferred cooking to killing. I was an excellent marksman and could shoot clay pigeons with the best of them, however no matter how angry he got at me I simply could not make myself kill anything larger than a spider. I was this way from my earliest memories. Everyone in the family tried to get me to conform to what “male” standards of that era were, to try to reduce our family drama no doubt. And I tried, God knows I tried, because my life got painfully difficult when I resisted. But inside, I resisted with every fiber of my being from as young as I can remember. Before my Soul dropped into my body I had to have had an idea what would occur when this man that was so defined by his masculinity, with major rage and alcohol issues, had a son so far outside of his comfort zone. If I chose these early experiences, knowing what was to come, how can I be a victim?
I’ve had some forgiving of God, forgiving of myself, forgiving of my Soul to do for these choices I made. But I have to believe that my Soul knew what it was doing and chose what it wanted when it chose this life for me. That’s what I believe forgiveness is all about. Accepting that it’s all about growth. Accepting that there was something in this exact life experience, including my childhood, which my Soul wanted to experience for the purpose of my Soul’s growth.
Look for just a minute at how The Law of Attraction works. We have total free will. We create through our thoughts and feelings, but I can’t affect your experience much and you can’t affect my experience much, unless we agree to it, unless we allow each other. You can do whatever you choose to do, and unless I allow that to bother me, I get to have a joyful experience and manifest whatever I choose.
I have to believe this whole experience must work similarly. We can’t be victims of a God with a dark sense of humor. That just doesn’t fit or make sense to me, it does not ring as truth. What does fit and make sense is that us Souls choose some experiences that us humans perceive as difficult, bad, hard, even impossible. While we may not understand why we choose this, on some level it must make sense to us, as Souls, before coming here. What if my Soul tends to struggle with feeling sorry for himself. So I choose a life that had a fair amount of that from the get-go, to force me to rise above it. Or what if my Dad’s Soul struggled with unforgiveness of himself. Expecting himself to be perfect, having little room for being human or imperfect. Maybe on a Soul level, the Soul that was my Dad was a major overachiever. I could perceive his Soul choosing a life like his, which included some circumstances (possibly agreed upon by all of us before our lives began) that he would HAVE to forgive himself for. I don’t know these are the reasons for my Dad’s choices, I’m just saying that we Souls must have valid reasons for choosing these experiences, and if we try we can surmise what those might be. Through meditation I’ve gained quite a lot of clarity on many of the issues that I personally struggled with for many years. What I once considered to be child abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse, I now consider to be his poor choices, choices that I participated in, choices that are all a part of this experience of life.
I know that I don’t have all the answers. And no one here in this world can know exactly how it works before and after we pull these veils over our memories and climb into these bodies. But I personally know on some level that the best thing I can do related for Dad is to forgive him. To forgive him and pray that he forgives himself. And forgive myself, love and adore and appreciate myself, for choosing this life, and forgive myself and celebrate myself for doing and saying and behaving at times in ways that I may perceive as being less than perfect.
This is what I think the biggest goal and lesson of our lives here is:
Releasing unforgiveness of ourselves, and releasing unforgiveness of all others…. releasing unforgiveness of our choices before coming here and after being here, and releasing unforgiveness of everyone else’s choices. Releasing judgment of ourselves, and releasing judgments of all others. Releasing judgments we hold of our choices before coming here and after being here, and releasing judgments we hold of everyone else’s choices. Releasing it all…
I believe that we are ALL wonderful worthy, deserving beings, just as we are/were. My belief is that Dad’s life wasn’t flawed or wrong, anymore than yours or my lives are wrong or flawed. He chose some difficult circumstances, and did the best he could with what he chose… and we all chose on some level to experience him after he experienced those things. We all got what we chose. None of us are victims. We are all wonderful, worthy, deserving Souls. We are worthy and deserving of all the love God has for us, all the love we have for ourselves and all the love the Universe has for us, just as we are in this moment right now. There was amazing good in my Dad. He may not have succeeded at all of the challenges he brought here, but he had the balls to bring those challenges here and try. We’re all worthy and deserving of all things good, just because of the Souls that we are, and just because we’re here trying. Not because of what we do or don’t do. Just because we are love at the very core of our being. There is good in every human being. Sometimes only a mother or sister or lover can see it, but each and every person on this planet is love at the core of their being.
What is judgement? There’s good judgment, the kind that we strive to get better at… where we evaluate something (hopefully) accurately and make a (hopefully successful) decision. And then there’s being judgmental, or what I call limiting moral judgment.
One is the equivalent of a wise and thoughtful judge’s decision in court, the other is Nancy Grace making snide comments with her lips pursed on Court TV.
The dictionary’s definition of judgement is “to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely”. I think this definition of judgment is partly why we think it’s ok to hold limiting judgments of ourselves and of others. The definition states that our judgment is objective, authoritative and wise. Most judgments we hold of ourselves and others are neither objective nor wise. (Authoritative yes… our egos really love to be right.)
Now define judgemental (or “judgemental people”, or “being judgemental”). For most of us, the word judgmental conjures up the idea of a limiting judgment, probably a limiting moral judgment. I bring this up because I believe this is where we get caught up. In limiting moral judgments, of both ourselves and others.
btw… how do you feel about the multiple ways I’m spelling judgment? Have you made any limiting moral judgments that I don’t know how to spell? Actually, the original spelling of the word is judgment, no e in the middle. However because so many people misspell the word as judgement, both spellings are now considered acceptable in many dictionaries. I could choose to entertain a limiting moral judgment that this softening of the spelling rules is contributing to the dumbing of our world. I don’t choose to hold that thought because there is no benefit in that thought for me, and there is negative consequences related to that judgment, for myself, for those that originally spelled the word “wrong”, and probably for those that participated in the softening of the official spelling. Let me explain.
The energy that occurs from a limiting judgment creates a dense energetic barrier between our human selves and our spiritual selves, or souls, that part of us that is Spirit. This dense barrier limits and filters the flow of energy from our Source. This limits the energy that heals us and supports us, and filters and distorts the loving and encouraging guidance that flows to us. Regardless whether the judgments are aimed at yourself or another, there is energy created that is deposited into you, almost onto you. It comes from both the discordant feelings we send out by holding these limiting judgments, and also from the discordant thoughts and feelings sent back to us from whoever we hold in judgment.
These are some of the many reasons we work at evolving as spiritual beings. The more we resist gossiping about someone, or holding limiting judgments of ourselves or others, and the more we let go of anger and fear and resentment, the less of that discordant energy we create for ourselves and others. And the closer we become to our Spiritual selves.
When the limiting judgments occur, and we have a resentment, anger or judgment of another pop up in our minds, if we choose to release it and let go of it instead of reacting to it, everything changes. It’s possible to choose to love and adore ourselves and others, and forgive them and ourselves. It’s possible to completely let go of the discordant feelings and thought forms. It takes practice, but it is possible. By deliberately letting go of these feelings and thought forms, and choosing to think and feel joyfully and hopefully, we raise the vibration not only of ourselves and the other person, but of the whole planet. Remember, we are all connected.
Another reason to release the judgments we’ve held of ourselves and others: fear. The more fear we live with the less we can be who we really are. Whether the judgment is causing the fear or whether the fear is causing the judgment, they’re in alignment with each other and causing havoc in your body and in your relationship with yourself when it’s present.
Since we create what we think about, since our thoughts become our reality, another reason to release judgment is because judgment brings us the opposite of what we want. Better wording might be: Holding judgments of ourselves or others causes us to experience more of what we’re judging. Usually that is specifically what we don’t want.
Have you ever deliberately gone fishing around inside of yourself for your limiting judgments of yourself or others? Do you love and adore everyone, and appreciate them for who and how they are, regardless of whether they’re different from you? If you have trouble seeing your own limiting judgments and fears, it might be helpful to look at the judgments and fears of your parents and your tribe growing up.
The first step is to own them. If you’ve got judgments right now, they’re yours. Let go of blame of yourself or anyone else for the fact that you possess them, or who you may have picked them up from. Just accept that they’re yours and own them.
Next, remember that you have free will. Without holding judgment for, or blaming yourself (or anyone else) for where you’re at, hold the intention to let all of those unwanted judgments go. I do this by stating the intention to release and live free of it…“I choose to live in joy, I choose to live free of that judgment, that judgment limits me and limits my joy. Right now, today I choose to let go of it, in only a kind and gentle way for myself and all others!” Then if/when those thoughts or feelings come up again in the future, I re-state my intention to live free of it. Eventually, those limiting judgments surface less and less in my thoughts, until they’ve dissipated fully. (btw… I know my stated intentions and prayers are kinda wordy, state yours however you’re comfortable.)
The way to clear limiting judgments is to release them as they occur, and as you’re aware of it. That’s all. Whenever you notice you’re being judgmental, state your intention to release and live free of it. We can never really experience unconditional love and warm-heartedness without letting go of our limiting judgments.
Your believing or not believing in karma has no effect on its existence, nor on its consequences to you. Just as a refusal to believe in the ocean would not prevent you from drowning. – F Paul Wilson, The Tomb
Karma is the record of services. Karma is the term used in Buddhist teaching. Taoists use the term te. Christians us the term “deed.” Many other spiritual beings use the term “virtue.” Karma, te, deed, and virtue are the same thing but in different words. To understand karma is to understand all of these words. – Zhi Gang Sha, The Power of Soul
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. – Wayne Dyer
I’m a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it’s bad or good. – Sandra Bullock
To go from mortal to Buddha, you have to put an end to karma, nurture your awareness, and accept what life brings. – Bodhidharma
Karma is Buddhist for “I’m rubber, you’re glue”. – Cheyenne Montgomery
My karma ran over your dogma. – Anonymous
When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says “yes, this is how I ought to feel”. – Harold Kushner
The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. – Frederick Buechner
There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life… happiness, freedom, and peace of mind… are always attained by giving them to someone else. – Peyton Conway March
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer
Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. – Unknown
Everybody comes from the same Source. If you hate another human being, you’re hating part of yourself. – Elvis Presley
Contrary to popular misconception, karma has nothing to do with punishment and reward. It exists as part of our holographic universe’s binary or dualistic operating system to teach us responsibility for our creations… and all things we experience are our creations. – Sol Luckman
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion. – Dalai Lama
What if… we all have access both to our Soul’s perspective and to our ego’s (or “character-self” or “human”) perspective?
We’re all hearing voices in our heads. Do you know the difference between your Soul’s voice, and the messages from your ego?
Is it possible to change the voices in your head?
Have you ever asked.. “what is my Soul?”
The voice within us that is encouraging and loving, that is our connection to our Soul’s perspective. The Soul/Spirit within each of us is our connection to all that is loving and kind and warm-hearted. The Spirit within us has the capacity and ability to love, adore and appreciate all that is. Everything…The human perspective within us is our connection to the fears and limiting judgments we’ve been exposed to (and hung onto) along the way.
What if when we hear voices within us condemning us, or condemning others, those voices are coming from limiting energies such as the fears within our human ego, or other limiting judgments we’ve picked up along this road of life?
One voice within us is quiet and kind, and requires some level of calm (and intention) to be heard. The other frequently is loud, condemning and demanding, and if we allow it to pick up steam, it is heard above all else. Accepting the judgmental voice within me as truth has never worked for me. My life gets more and more difficult and off-track when I allow that loud, indignant voice within me to rule. That voice is usually my fears and judgments, or someone else’s that I’ve taken on as my own. My life flows in joy and well-being when I follow the calm, kind, and encouraging voice of my Soul.
What if our Souls will guide us as much (or as little) as we invite and intend them to? Have you ever tried beginning the day with a statement of intention, something like “It is my intention to allow and receive a stream of blissful and encouraging thoughts, thoughts that are in alignment with my well-being and joy, throughout this day”? It is my belief that the part of me that is Spirit is the energy of love and well-being. I’ve found fun, blissful exuberance; laughter and joy are all amazing triggers and conduits to help us connect with our soul’s perspective. It’s logical to me that since laughter, love and joy help me connect with my Soul, then my Soul must be aligned with (as in “similar in energy to”) fun, blissful exuberance, laughter, love and joy.
To the questions: “What is the Soul?” “What is your Soul?” and “What is the definition of Soul” “Am I hearing God’s voice?” I believe the answer is the same:
“Soul/Spirit” = “love, joy, bliss, well-being”.
Think about how awesome this is! You have not only your Soul’s permission to do something that’s fun for you, but you also have your Soul’s request to do something fun and creative!
If you love what you’re doing, feel calm inside, and laugh while you’re doing it, you’re furthering your connection to your Soul. If being guided by your Soul-self (instead of your ego) is your goal, try stating that intention, and then watch a funny movie, take a long, blissful walk; play with your kids (whether they’re 2 legged, 4 legged or no legged!); do any creative project, including listening to or creating music, or having hot sex with someone you love and trust (and yes, it’s totally cool if sometimes that person is you!)
What if… we each have our own means to guide us through our lives? What if each one of us has our own guidance system built-in? And what if all we have to do to live the life of our dreams is to understand how our guidance system works and follow it? What if our lack of understanding about how our personal guidance system works, (and our mis-reading and mistaking the queues sent to us by it), is the true culprit when we find ourselves in periods of our lives that we’re receiving much of what we don’t want?
Our emotional guidance system is a mechanism, (or more accurately a series of mechanisms within each one of us) that can really help us maneuver joyfully through life.
When we think about (or observe or experience) something and feel totally blissful and calm inside, and the voice within us is either quiet or encouraging, our emotional guidance system is confirming that it’s cool to move forward in that direction. Deepak Chopra refers to this as you letting you know that what you’re observing is “karmically appropriate”.
“Karmically appropriate” = “Yeah! That’s cool! Go in that direction.”
One way our internal guidance system lets us know we’re going the wrong direction sometimes feels like a little pain in the stomach, (when your“gut” cramps up or isn’t calm). Take a look at the 3rd (Solar Plexus) chakra here… this “energy center” is one of many possible causes for stomach cramps or abdomen pains.
 Could that stomach pain or cramp be your emotional guidance system? Our internal guidance system frequently uses our 3rd chakra to communicate to us. If you feel a gentle (or not-so-subtle) cramp in the area of your 3rd chakra, it’s possible that one of these things is happening:
1) you have emotional journeys to be taken related to what you’re feeling , experiencing or observing. (In other words, something just triggered a fear inside you, a fear that may require you to feel, or cry, or “emote” a little to release it); or
2) your thoughts are going in the wrong direction. (You’re allowing thoughts that are taking you in the opposite direction of your intentions and/or goals.)
Regarding the untaken emotional journey… “Untaken emotional journey” = “unresolved fear energy that’s now accompanied by an emotional response such as grief, sadness, panic, hopelessness, etc.” To find out if this is what causes stomach pains for you, locate and take the emotional journey(s) available to you. Move through the emotions and release the fears, and if the cramp goes away, it was your emotional guidance system. (Interested in learning how to locate and move through emotional journeys quickly and comfortably? There are many great online seminars at Focused Well Being that include specific instructions and exercises on emotional journeys. It can also be really helpful to schedule some appointments with a Personal Life Coach.) Mastering your emotions is one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give yourself.
Regarding thoughts that are going in the wrong direction… try thinking different thoughts! If you have a tendency to think pessimistically, try for a few minutes allowing yourself to only think positive thoughts on any subject. Want to find out if this is one of the causes for your stomach cramps? Make it a point to hold positive, encouraging thoughts for an extended period of time, or distract yourself by watching something fun and see if the cramp in your 3rd chakra goes away. (Would you like to hold more successful, positive thoughts? Try positive affirmation recordings such as subliminals, guided meditations, or my favorite “24 Hour” recordings. I’ve used them all, and I’ve had good success with all of them. The 24 Hour recordings are my favorites because they’re so versatile, and powerful, however each recording type has it’s own benefits, and I use them all. Guided meditations are very effective at bringing about change, while also providing the extra benefit of naturally reducing stress and insomnia. Listen to subliminals anytime, anywhere, and no one will even know that you’re doing self-help work. If used regularly, all can be effective at filling your mind with positive, hopeful thoughts and intentions.)
What is gossip?
Dictionary.com’s definition of gossip as “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others”.
I would probably define gossip more like “talking shit about someone when they’re not there to either verify the smack you’re talking or shut you up”. (hmmm.. that might become one of my new favorite quotes on gossip.)
I have a large family. If I were to count just first cousins and their spouses and children on both parents’ sides it’s probably around 250. I’m closest to my mom’s side of the family, and we number well over 100. There’s more than 30 in my immediate family alone, just my siblings, our spouses and kids. Most still live within an hour drive of each other, many still live in the same town we were born and raised in.
I’m close to many in my family, especially my cousins. We were best friends growing up, and have remained close as adults. Most stay pretty connected, and the rest of us see each other at least once a year, sometimes more. What do we do when we get together? Frequently, we talk about each other, especially those that are not there (or at least not within ear shot). Now anyone that knows me knows that I love Rumors… the Fleetwood Mac variety. I have multiple copies of it on both vinyl and CD, and it’s still awesome after almost 40 years. I’m not talking here about Fleetwood Mac Rumors though, I’m talking about rumors within my family. Somehow talking about the private lives of Mick, John, Christine, Stevie and Lindsey helped them sell more albums. Talking about the folks in my family is likely to get you on a list, but not a backstage pass list… the family shit list.
It’s important to say that we all love each other in this family, treat each other kindly, and are supportive and protective of each other. We’re a fun-loving, connected and very “civil” tribe. And in our defense, it’s not usually mean-spirited gossip. More like sort-of-well-meaning gossip. You know the kind… if we were from the south each sentence would end with a “bless her heart” (Which, btw, is one of my all time favorite quotes on gossip.) “Bless his/her heart” is like instant Catholic confession and redemption for the masses, after skewering the hell out of someone behind their back.
Some of us are worse at gossiping than others; some years ago I was in the worst category. I was unhappy, and others’ unhappiness somehow made mine not seem so bad. The older, happier and more secure I’ve become, and the more I understand all the “invisible” shit that gossiping causes, the less of it I do. I really do work at it, I think we all do… it’s not always easy though. Because we care about each other, we are genuinely interested in each other’s lives. Benign conversations such as “oh you saw so-and-so, how are they?” can unwittingly go from “the vacation to Italy went great last month…” to “but you know she’s gained a lot of that weight back that she lost…”. I want to hear about the weddings, births, funny and loving stories about what happened at the graduation last week, and all the other good news that’s public knowledge. I no longer want to hear about anything that’s personal or private or none of my business. Innocent catching up and well-meaning inquiries can sometimes careen from sort-of-well-meaning to a little mean-spirited. And even the sort-of-well-meaning variety of gossip has caused a lot of hurt feelings and gotten many of us in hot water at various times.
Now I have to admit, I love gossip synonyms almost as much as I love quotes on karma. In my family we have many cute pet names for gossip…
“putting ‘em on the pit” as in “roasting them”.
“Sharing concern”. (Yeah, right.)
Or my personal favorite, “stirring the pot” as in “stirring up someone else’s shit”. (Just what everyone wants and needs, to have their personal shit, the shit that they’re probably already struggling with, stirred up for the sake of someone else’s insecurity or entertainment.)
I always somehow knew it was wrong, and felt guilty about it, especially when I was younger and did a lot of it. And getting caught talking about someone that you care about is just freakin’ awful. As I began learning more about our physical and spiritual experiences here, it began to occur to me that we have the ability to affect each other in so many ways we’re not aware of. I now know that having someone talk about you can cause you to not feel good… whether you hear it, or someone tells you about it, or not. Regardless whether you are consciously aware of what was said or not, regardless whether you’re aware anyone was talking about you at all, you’re energetically aware of it. We’re all energetically connected to each other. There have been scientific studies that prove that we are all connected non-locally. That feeling of knowing who is on the other end of the phone before you see the caller ID, even when you weren’t expecting them to call. They had a thought of you, called you, and before you saw the caller ID you picked up on their thinking of you.
Here’s how (I think) this works…
You’re angry at (pick one: son/father/daughter/mother/spouse/friend) and you’re stewing on it. Even though you’re not in the same physical location as they are, you’re thinking about them and you’re not happy with them. The more you think the thoughts, the stronger and more frequent the thoughts get. Pretty soon you’re having a hard time thinking of anything else and you’re really pissed off at them.
The more you think of this person, the more you come up in their awareness (their thoughts). They start thinking about you, or they’ll experience a memory with you in it. They’ll be thinking of you, because you’ve opened some kind of energy channel between the two of you by feeling something very strongly as you’re thinking about them. They’re now thinking about you, and as you come up in their awareness or memory, they’re also now feeling the same emotion (anger) that you’re feeling. So you’re now in their thoughts, and if they’re not pretty tapped into bliss and joy at the moment, the anger that you’re sharing with them is going to be felt by then, it’s going to surface. The energies that you’re experiencing are going to be experienced by them. And chances are they won’t understand why they’re angry at you, but they will be. Sometimes there may have been an old, unresolved hurt that will suddenly pop-up in their thoughts, an old anger or resentment will surface from a year ago that is unrelated to what you’re ruminating on them about. Or they’ll get angry at themselves and maybe blame you for it. It just depends on what’s “stewing and brewing” deep down within them. But it was all activated and caused within them, by your angry thoughts of them. (You’ve just earned the opposite of a karma credit, which is good, you’ve now created a little karmic debit.)
Likewise, if someone thinks an extended, adoring series of thoughts of you, chances are that person will come up in your thoughts, even if you’re in a different home, state or country, and the thoughts and feelings you’ll experience will be positive, warm and fuzzy. (Does this help you understand instant karma meaning? Do or say something nice, magic happens. Do or say something mean, bad shit happens.)
Many of us talk smack about others to connect with the group we’re with. Maybe we’re really loving being with each other, and we’ve run out of things to talk about, but we don’t want our time together to end, so (out of habit) we start talking about those that we have a common connection with.
The gossip thing is judgment, and we’ve all done it. It’s a part of the human experience to some degree, but it’s harmful nonetheless. Whether the limiting judgment is of yourself (negative self-talk) or someone else (gossip), it’s hurting you, it’s hurting you physically, it’s hurting your karma, and it’s hurting the person you’re gossiping about energetically, whether they’re made aware of your gossip or not.
Elvis Presley said “Everybody comes from the same Source. If you hate another human being, you’re hating part of yourself.” I believe this is true. Even if you’re not hating them, if you gossip about them you’re harming them, and yourself. The next time you start to put someone on the pit, try to hold a genuine compassionate thought of them instead. You’ll be helping and healing yourself, your karma, and the planet…
What if… emotional journeys are a healthy part of a healthy life? They are, provided we let our shit go as we’re moving through it. When we hang onto drama or emotional turbulence (or re-create it) we gain much less forward movement from our emotional journeys.
“Emotional journey” = “moving through/past a fear energy that’s accompanied by a strong emotional response such as grief, sadness, panic, hopelessness, etc.”
All of us have thoughts, memories, childhood fears, etc, that are limiting us, or have limited us at one time. The cat that scratched you or the dog that bit you when you were a toddler can cause much fear and carry much energy for you as an adult. Fears related to abandonment after your parent’s divorce can linger for decades. And it’s not just childhood experiences that cause fears. At different times of my life I’ve had loved one’s illnesses, a failed business, and painful relationship breakups, all profoundly affected me.
Some I moved past easily. Others not so much. Some of these experiences left me with large, untaken emotional journeys that limited me for many years.
So how do I release them? First, by allowing myself to acknowledge the fears. One by one, I ask myself “what are the fears I came out of this painful experience with?” As I face the fears, I allow myself to feel the emotions of sadness, fear, loss, hopelessness or grief that accompany them, with the intention of releasing it all and letting it go.
So many people fear crying. No one dies from crying, we die from the shit we don’t allow ourselves to cry about. The great majority of us here die from the unresolved fear and pain that we’ve suppressed and refused to allow to surface. And before we die from these unresolved issues, we live in physical, mental and emotional pain and suffering related to them.
To get past it we have to go through it. To go through it we have to allow it to the surface, accept and own it, move through it, and then choose to let go of it.
Do you know the power of positive thought? Most of us know the importance of it, and those of you who have really worked on it realize it’s not as easy as it seems like it should be… The Law of Attraction taught in The Secret is a good example. Excellent, important information. And not always so easy to do.
I’m fortunate now, but it wasn’t always this way. For every day that it’s a little difficult to hold blissful, hopeful thoughts (like yesterday was for me) there’s many more like today that I float through my day in bliss and joy, when everything feels like it’s going my way. What’s the difference? My own thoughts and intentions. I’ve been practicing living in joy for quite a while now, and it’s become pretty easy for me. On those days that I struggle, I love that I’m able to “pivot” back to inner peace and joy by remembering to do a little meditation, take a walk, or turn one of my favorite positive affirmation recordings. When I take care of myself like this, it’s only a short time until I’m “in the flow”. I talk about meditations and positive affirmation recordings quite a bit because they’ve been such a big piece of my own personal transition from pessimism and a life that didn’t work, to optimism and a life that most people only dream about. My life is awesome, successful, healthful and joy-filled. Subconscious programming has been like a magic formula for me.
I’ve had my struggles, anyone that knows me, especially those that knew me 20-30 years ago will attest to that. Those struggles made it hard for me personally to think positively and optimistically. I learned the hard way that it’s not possible for most of us to be hopeless-thinking pessimists and accomplish big, desirable goals. The hopelessness and pessimism sidetracks us from continuing to move towards the goals. For me to become successful I had to let go of my hopeless thoughts, and instead embrace hopeful, joyful thoughts and expectations.
For big, awesome things to manifest, it helps to hold thoughts of what you want, and also hold the belief that for sure you’ll be getting it soon. Think of something huge that you really want, like a million dollar house or a luxury car, paid for, or a job that you make $200,000 a year and love to go to work every day because the job is so fun. Now practice thinking about this as if it’s your reality. Think about the house as if you live in it, drive the car, go to the job, do this fantasy twice a day for 5 full minutes, every day for a week. For most of us, it’s easy at first. Then the resistance starts to come up. While a few are successful at it initially, most of us have a hard time around day 2 or day 3, really holding that fantasy and believing it. This is unconscious mind power…working against us.
It’s possible to really harness the power of the subconscious mind. I wasn’t very good at all this at first. I wrestled with my thoughts for a long time, angry at myself for not being able to think positively and hopefully all the time. Then I realized, this is way too much work! Now if I don’t think positively on a subject, I use a recording to fill my mind with positive thoughts and successful messages on that subject. Don’t wrestle negative thoughts any more, it’s a waste of your time and energy, plus it’s just not fun, and really, life is supposed to be fun. Instead, find a couple guided meditation recordings, or subliminals, or other positive affirmation recordings that you like, and think yourself to your goals! It really is as easy as turning on a recording and letting my mind be programmed to allow and receive what I want. I even reprogram my subconscious mind while I sleep. I have my favorites, and the truth is that when I listen to a 24 hour recording all night, or a nighttime guided meditation the night before , I have a joyful, easy time holding positiving thoughts and manifesting what I want the next day.
I laugh at myself sometimes. I personally have changed many aspects of my life for the better, and turned negative thoughts into positive thoughts thousands of times by just listening to these recordings, and then once in a while (like yesterday) I let myself struggle through a bunch of crappy thoughts and forget that all I hafta do is turn one of the recordings ON. Gotta love being human…
If you’ve ever had trouble holding positive thoughts, or trouble believing that you get to have the life of your dreams I really encourage you to try them. They’re awesome.
Happy Birthday to my Mom! I don’t know how she feels about me giving her real age (I’ve learned that the girls can be a little sensitive about that), so lets just say that she’s 70ish today. Give or take a few ishes, maybe more.
In my family we’re all pretty loving, passionate, considerate, and committed to family, and my mom is both the teacher and the example that created most of that in all of us. In a tribe with as much intensity as ours’, that’s no easy feat.
She’s awesome, an amazing woman. (And I’m not just saying that so you’ll send me more chocolate chip cookies. Although we’re out of lemon bars and party mix down here while we’re on the subject.)
 Happy Birthday Mom!
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